Passover at Rikers Reflections
On Passover 5783 (2023) members of Romemu’s Social Action Committee celebrated the seder on Rikers Island with individuals incarcerated there. Below are their reflections from this experience.
MA NISHTANA HALAILA HAZE? That night we sat for the Seder with NOT- free men.
How does one celebrate their freedom while locked up in the most notorious jails in the US? Reflection from Yehuda Freidman
Seder night at Rikers Island was a surreal experience and that’s an understatement. I’m still unpacking the experience.The facility itself, as you approach the bridge, the sole access point, LaGaurdia airport literally a stone throw away on the right, gorgeous views of the Manhattan skyline on the left and as you enter, barbed wire everywhere. Once inside, solid gates every 50 feet or so.As we enter, the first incarcerated men we meet are wearing what can only be described as clown outfits. Oversized, orange and white horizontal stripes.. I felt embarrassed to even look.The Seder was attended by about 60 incarcerated men and a handful of women, and about 25 volunteers Kudos to our Social action Committee for recruiting me and for all of their efforts, and to Mini Tohill & Yonatan Arnon who organized. The participants were mostly African-American men who became interested in Judaism while incarcerated. Some seemed very interested in Judaism while others seemed to be there for other reasons, but the distinction made no difference to us. There were a small minority of participants who were Jewish before incarceration.
What was most heartbreaking, was “Meir”, who was clearly severely developmentally disabled. How in the world is he there? How can a civilized country allow this?
Of memorable moments to me was teaching how we are all Kings on Seder night, and demonstrating it by personally washing “Larry”s hands, from a cup, as we used to do for our Dad a’h/RIP when we were kids at the Seder. And chatting with “Aharon” about his background and realizing that we grew up a mere five blocks away from each other in Kew Gardens, Queens. And discussing the “four sons”; I raised a question I heard just the previous night from Rabbi Dennis Prager: “Wise , wicked, Simple, Can’t ask. Who’s missing? Where is the ‘good son’?” To which “Larry” suggested, “Maybe he’s the one giving the answers/teaching his siblings?”) I found that answer so insightful – how as much as we try to educate our children, they learn as much or more and often better from their siblings (and peers.) I will retell this question and answer, fully attributed, from now on at every Seder I attend. And finishing the Seder, “Nirtzah”, singing Amazing Grace with “Clarence” who was a very sensitive and spiritual man, with interests across all Faiths.
One final point to mention: at no point did I feel the slightest bit unsafe, and we were not swarmed by guards at all times. (Of course guards were always there, yet…) I felt as if, and indeed I was, in the presence of mortal men and women – thoughtful, hopeful, loving humans. We didn’t ask anyone “what are you in for?” and they were generally not eager to share this unprompted.
In this season of Redemption for many Faiths, I can only pray/hope that the innocent will find exoneration, and those less so, including us, to find Redemption, speedily and in our times. Amen.
(Names were all changed).
Reflection from Tal Siegel, Romemu Social Action Committee Co-Chair
The Seder at Riker’s Island was one of the deepest spiritual conversations I’ve had in a long time, thanks to two of the most soul searching men I’ve met, who were eager to learn and grow spiritually. Both of them Black, former gang members who discovered the beauty and Wisdom of Judaism while inside.
J.B. – a 26 year old spoke of how isolating it is to be Jewish on Riker’s, which is why those times “when our community gets together to learn and pray – free to believe what we believe” are so important and precious to him. Just 10 minutes earlier, his friend V. was taken by the guards back to his cell following his protest of their decision to sit them all the way to the back, separate from everyone else. JB who initially participated in the protest explained that he didn’t want to miss the time in community, so he closed his eyes and went inwards to calm himself. “When you understand that it IS YOUR choice (whether to protest or stay in the Seder), you break free of their mind and control games. There’s always a place within us that both you and the guards know they can’t get to”. Blown away by the wisdom at his age I asked him how he arrived at such a realisation. He said that’s something you learn after 4 years at Rikers. Four years?? I uttered with disbelief as I felt what I’ve known for years about rikers hit me like a ton of bricks. “We never know why God puts us through the trials he puts us through” his friend M. said and JB agreed.
M. who’s in his 40’s/50’s wore a set of a beautiful green silk Yamuka and face mask, which, when he took off revealed a big diagonal scar on his right cheek, remnants of slashing (aka the traditional Riker’s “welcome”). He shared that he “ feel(s) SO blessed to have found Judaism that it’s sometimes scary”. He explained that feeling blessed was rare in his life, therefore still feels foreign to him, so he can’t always trust it. As we got to “Avadim Hayinu” he talked about his inner slavery to “being worshiped” by others, as a gang leader for 18 years. Finding Judaism helped him become free of that need. Thankfully he still uses his status for good, like protecting “Meir” and “Elly”, two of the developmentally disabled people on Rikers, who without his protection would have likely suffered unthinkable things.
Across the table sat Fichman (made up name), a white man in his 50’s who was obviously “assigned Jewish at birth” but clearly couldn’t care less now. His suffering and despair were clearly visible despite the “tough guy” expression he put on at all times, as he couldn’t sit still for longer than 5 minutes. In the middle of the Seder he went somewhere and came back, took his chair and went to sit at the back, closed his eyes and disappeared into his pain. When I went over to see if he’s ok, he said: “Please don’t mind me, I just can’t stand how they treat us here. All I did was ask for toilet paper because there’s none in our restrooms, and the guards have it in theirs. Why can’t they give us some toilet paper?? I’m a grown man, highly educated, respectable job (accountant), sent my kids to college… I didn’t raise my voice, nothin… I just have to close my eyes and imagine that I’m somewhere else when this kind of shit happens…”. I asked “So why not use the Seder to distract your mind from everything? Every other night you can close your eyes and actively work on ‘disappearing’. Why don’t you give yourself a break and let us and the Seder do the work of taking your mind off things for you?”
He looked at me, smiled, and said- “I guess that’s my Ma Nishtana, Ha?”. Then returned with me to our table.
One of the funniest Seder moments ever followed when we were asked what the Gefilte fish symbolise and why we eat it? “I don’t know, ” said Fichman, ” but if you’re not eating it- I’ll take it because every piece has to be worth at least $3 in commissary money!”
We ended the Seder with – “Leshana Habaa Beyerushalayim”, with the sincerest of hopes and prayer, that they would at least not be on Rikers at the next Seder.
Per JB’s and M’s request- We hope that you will consider joining us in future visits to Rikers which help ensure they receive prayer time, and join our upcoming lobbying efforts to ensure that people like Meir and Elly never end up on Riker’s again. (See details under Social Action section).
Reflections & A Prayer from Rev. Lauren Ahava Jacobs, Romemu Social Action Committee Co-Chair
We need to Close & Green Rikers. Meantime, we must treat people there with dignity.
May we be liberated from our small-mindedness, fear, anger & hatred.
May those who are incarcerated because of racism, poverty, responses to generational trauma, and neglect of neighborhoods & human rights be liberated from their confinement by society.
And may we remember:
None of us is free until all of us are free.”
Amen.